In Defense...

Howdy from Jaclyn in Aggieland!

Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. - 1 Peter 3:15

First, let me say that I am by no means a great Christian. There is a lot I do not know. A lot that I fail at every day. The Disclaimer: I am SUPER nervous about posting this. I do not talk religion or politics. Most of the time, it seems pointless to do either and I don't like to debate. I sometimes talk about what I believe with Hubba or my momma, but I tend to avoid conversations about those topics if I think there will be conflicting points of views.

I believe that there is one true God with three persons: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I believe that the Bible is God's Word handed down to us so that we may learn about Him and His truths. I believe that God created the heavens and the earth and that he created man in His image. I believe that sin entered the world through man, that sin has condemned us to death and separation from God, but that redemption comes to those who are willing to accept the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ, who was without sin. That by accepting His sacrifice, we will enjoy everlasting life in heaven.

With that said, I am by nature an intellectual, logical, science-oriented person. I know that many of my friends and colleagues do not believe in a god. Maybe because their understanding of God and their understanding of science creates a gap too big for them to cross. Maybe because the lack of physical evidence of a god is insurmountable to them. Maybe for another reason. It is kind of amazing to me that I believe in God. There are plenty of reasons to not believe in Him. There have been lots of experiences in my life that are reason enough to dismiss Him.

As I was thinking about this post, I thought a lot about what lead me to choose God and Christ. At first, most of my thoughts were about what it isn't.

I don't believe in God because the Bible tells me to believe. If you believe in God because the Bible tells you to believe in God, what makes you believe in the Bible? What makes you believe that what it contains is truth and worth giving your life over to an "invisible" being? For this reason, I won't try to convince anyone of God by using the Bible for my justification of his existence. To me, that isn't logical. However, because I believe, I use the Bible to understand God, build a relationship with Him, and learn what His will is for us as a people. His Word should direct my life. I believe the Bible because I believe in God.

I don't believe in God for comfort, although it can be a perk. In fact, a lot of my relationship with God is very uncomfortable. He requires me to put my trust, faith, hope, and desires in Him. I like to be in control. I like having my plans. I like to know what my life is going to look like in 6 months. With God, I have to be willing to accept His plan, even without knowing what it is or where it is heading. Also, the Holy Spirit is working in my being, requiring me to rid myself of my selfishness. Man, that is really uncomfortable. Hearing a truth and knowing it requires a change - ugh... Yes, I can come to God and lay my burdens down. Yes, He is a comfort to me when life is hard. Yes, I believe He hears me when I am crying out to Him because I don't understand why my life is not and cannot be what I want it to be. Yes, I take comfort in knowing that my friends and family who believe in Him and accept Christ will join me in heaven. However, I don't know what heaven will be like. I don't know if I will know or recognize friends and family that are there. I don't know what that eternal life will look or feel like. So, while I take comfort in knowing they will be there, I don't know that I will see them again or know it is them if I were to see them. That isn't really comforting. 

I also don't choose to believe out of fear. There are probably people who believe in God for the sole reason of a fear of death and what may come after that. They would rather believe in God and "find out" they were wrong after they die than not believe in God and find themselves in hell. I don't know. Fear is a good motivator, but it doesn't seem maintainable. Don't get me wrong. I believe in hell and I want to stay out of it, but it is not the reason I believe.

I don't believe in God for moral reasons. There are millions of basically good people who live an upright and moral life who do not believe in God. From Luke 11:

"Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" Luke 11:11-13

So morality is not the standard for believing in God. However, I do believe that if you believe in God, you should be striving to live a righteous and moral life. That you are being refined and sanctified towards God's standard. If you do not believe in God, then I can't hold you to the standard that God asks for, but I can expect that you will follow basic moral codes and that you understand that things like blatant lying, stealing, cheating, and murdering are wrong.

I don't believe in God for creation reasons. As I said earlier, I do believe he created the heavens and the earth, that he created light and made day and night, that he formed the sky, land and seas, that he made the land produce vegetation, filled the sky with the sun, moon and stars, the water and land with animals. I believe he made man in his image. I do not think all of this was done in six 24-hour periods, but made in six stages. I don't believe Earth is only a few thousand years old. I believe in evolution: small changes over a long period of time, weak creatures dying off, strong creatures passing on their genetically superior genes to the next generation. I don't think that being rational and logical, loving science and "believing in science" separates you from God. God is those things, too. I think the bigger problem with "Science vs God" is the misinformation on both sides of the debate.

I don't believe in God because of my family or my culture. Although my family believes in God, we were not church-goers. I also have developed a faith very different from any of my parents, siblings, and extended family. When I first started going to church, I drove myself there every Wednesday and Sunday. It was my choice to be there. I did first start developing my relationship with Christ at my best friends' church, but I asked questions, searched for real answers, and struggled with gaps between what I was being taught and what my heart was telling me. Throughout college, I was blessed to be a part of a college ministry that encouraged making your faith your own. I often made decisions about my beliefs that went against the church home I had found. Eventually, it led me away from my initial denomination, but I still admire, respect, and listen to the people who gave me the freedom to choose which in turn helped me grow in my faith - one that is my own.

So, why do I believe in God?

There is a yearning in my heart that is only satisfied with Him. 

Maybe that is illogical. But even as a little girl, with limited knowledge of what a god is, my spirit moved to him like a magnet. I felt His presence. His Spirit called to me and I answered. My heart was prodded to belief. I know that is not going to be a satisfactory answer to non-believers and I know that there are people who prayed for God to give them faith and believe that He didn't answer. But there you have it. I cannot ignore the longing of my soul.

 A friend of mine wrote the following:

We certainly don’t see any God influencing our day to day life — though some people like to claim they’ve seen it or seen miracles — I believe that people are often experts at fooling themselves and seeing what they want to see.

I would have to disagree with her, with gentleness and respect. I have felt God's influence throughout my life. I cannot ignore it. I cannot ignore the sequence of events that led me to where I am today. I cannot believe they were just coincidence and happenstance. After how many coincidences and perfect timings do you start to think that it's not coincidence any more? To me, that is ignoring evidence. So I choose to see God.

Thanks and Gig 'Em!