Recharge

Howdy from Jaclyn in Aggieland!

Fairly recently - in the last year or so - I have realized that I am an introvert. This might contradict the stereotypical picture of an introvert. When I think of an introvert, I think of someone like Hubby - quiet, gentle, shy. Most people would not describe me as such. I am loud, spunky, goofy, comfortable around a lot of people, friendly, and open. However, introversion is the state or tendency toward being wholly or predominately concerned with and interested in one's own mental life. Some theories of introversion say that introverts are people whose energy tends to expand through reflection and dwindle during interaction. In other words, introverts prefer spend more time in their own head rather than on the outside world.

My job requires a lot of energy, time, and thought spent on the outside world and not much time on reflection. This is draining to an introvert. I was working year-round in an extrovert capacity. Just about every waking hour was spent thinking about someone else. I took solace in writing notes because that was as close to reflection and my own mental life as I could often get. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely LOVE teaching and working with students and being around people, but it is draining. So, after the past seven years of depleting my energy in the classroom (as well a through other unhealthy means), I was empty. I took off of teaching during Summer II leaving me with 56 glorious days to recharge - and that is what I have been doing.

I am still working, but I am mentoring 3 grad students who are teaching and most of my mentoring can be done via email or short meetings as necessary and I am making two short videos which can be done at home. So, I get to spend my time as I want. If I want to sleep until 12:30, I can. If I want to stay up until 6am lost in another world, I can. If I want to write, draw, study something new, I can. If I want to spend the day just sitting in a dim room and breathe, I can. It is doing wonders for me. As much as I thank God for doctors and the chemists who created antidepressants (because without them, I would be an ugly mess most of the time), I am more thankful to God for improving my mental well-being through this time of recharging and for working out all the details that needed to happen so that I didn't have to teach the entire summer.

At the beginning of the summer, I wrote a list of summer goals. I don't know that I have been very successful in them, but I think that what I have been doing this summer is going to make my life better during the upcoming school year.

Thanks and gig 'em!